


Are You Gonna Cry at My Funeral?

by artificialmac



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Friendship, Lovers?, M/M, They love each other, but they aren't dating really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-02
Packaged: 2019-03-26 04:25:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13850061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artificialmac/pseuds/artificialmac
Summary: The events that lead to and follow the filming of episode 65 of UNHhhh when Katya asks if Trixie will cry at her funeral.





	Are You Gonna Cry at My Funeral?

**Author's Note:**

> I tried to leave their relationship ambiguous. They could be just friends or lovers. It is up to you!

Katya meant it to be funny. 

Trixie knows this. She knows Katya didn’t mean it as anything more than a passing comment. Trixie hesitated for a moment, taken off guard. She searched her brain for something witty to respond with, but she couldn’t. It felt as if her brain had slowed to a halt at the thought of Katya dying. 

And boy that was a scary thought. Not the Katya dying thought, she was old; it was only a matter of time. But even Trixie’s inner joke at Katya’s expense lacked delivery. No, what was really terrifying was the fact that Katya dying could affect her so. 

The Russian queen asked once more. To a casual viewer it would just look like Katya poking fun at Trixie, but the sudden tension in the room had amped up tenfold. Trixie could see the genuine fear in Katya’s eyes. For all her jokes, Trixie knew Katya didn’t want to die.

“Of course I will.” 

“I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.” 

“I would cry very hard.”

Trixie wasn’t even thinking about the words coming out of her mouth anymore. She was just looking Katya dead in the eyes and letting it all come out. Her voice cracks were deafening in the silent room, and it was clear Katya had hit a nerve. A nerve Trixie didn’t even know she had.

Katya made some joke halfheartedly to distract from Trixie's clear upset. Hopefully it would translate better on camera. 

Trixie and Katya wrapped up filming, but Trixie’s heart wasn’t in the show. She was somewhere else entirely. She made a few apologies before heading to the changing room. 

Trixie wasn’t lying when she said she wouldn’t know what to do with herself. Over the past two years, Katya had become the center of her world. They did everything together. And if there was something they couldn’t do together, they did it anyway. Their lives had become so intertwined so suddenly. But it didn’t feel sudden. It felt like it had come years too late. 

Trixie was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn’t even notice the subject of them standing right in front of her face. 

“Trixie?” Katya waved her a hand a bit, not in an insulting way, never in an insulting way. She waved lightly and made eye contact to try and pull Trixie from within herself. When Katya saw the recognition in the other queen’s face, she smiled. A light smile. A comforting smile. One that felt like a home. “Hey there.”

Trixie shook her head “Sorry, I just zoned out a bit.” She laughed and tried to add her usual joking tone, but Katya just shook her head slightly as if to say ‘ _you don’t have to do that with me _.’ Trixie was grateful and relaxed a bit, but Katya’s hand on her shoulder remained.__

____

They were silent for a few moments. Trixie avoiding Katya’s insistent stare and comforting gesture.

____

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” Katya finally spoke.

____

“You are fine, I just, wasn’t…prepared I guess?” Katya nodded although Trixie knew she didn’t understand. She wasn’t even sure she herself understood. “I want you to know that you are important to me. No matter how much I joke about how shitty your wigs are, or how old you are, or how stupid you look, or how…”

____

“Ok. Alright I get it.”

____

Trixie smiled lightly, feeling more at ease. “I care for you very much, you cunt. More than you will probably ever understand.” 

____

“You know I feel the same.” She paused. “And don’t worry about my death. God knows I don’t.” Another pause. “I will be around for a long time. You can’t get rid of me so quickly.”

____

“I guess you just took me off guard. It hurt me to think that you don’t know how much I need you.”

____

“You don’t need me.” Katya laughed a bit, but Trixie grabbed her hands and held them in her own.

____

“Oh but I do. I really do. I need you in my life. You have become such a central part of it.” Trixie paused looking Katya straight in the eye to show her how serious she was being. “You have to promise me something.”

____

Her hands still clasped in Trixie’s, Katya nods, “Anything.”

____

“Promise me you won’t die before I do.”

____

Katya could feel tears welling up behind her eyes. “Anything but that. I won’t promise that Trixie.”

____

Trixie was crying at this point, but also smiling. It was a weird feeling. To be happy but crying. Happy that she had a person in her life that means so much to her, and that person in return loving her just as much back.

____

“I will not live on this earth without you here.”

____

“Well, neither will I.”

____

“Fine.”

____

“Whatever.” 

____

 

____

 

____

Katya burst out laughing. 

____

By this point, she too was crying. 

____

The pair of them stood in the middle of the WowPresents basement laughing and crying and so incredibly happy. _‘What a pair they made’ _Trixie thought.__

______ _ _

What a pair indeed.

______ _ _

“We will just have to agree to disagree.” Katya mused, small smile playing at the edge of her mouth.

______ _ _

“I guess we will.” Trixie smiled.

______ _ _

Makeup running, padding smushed, they held each other’s hands, and wiped each other’s tears, smiling and crying, not concerned with the future, content.

______ _ _


End file.
